Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize