so that wasnt chicken after all
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize