Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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