I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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