The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish I only lived at night.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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