Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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