So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm bleeding and have questions
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
