How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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