ya dads aren't the best wingmen
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There r osticjed everywhere
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize