Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
