The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
