Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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