No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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