Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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