Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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