Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
