I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
