Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
