census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
