This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
