No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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