I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They have beer where we have blood.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
