Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
