Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
