He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
