Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
