I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
