If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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