Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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