Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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