So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
In America we eat man semen.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
