So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
