I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
