I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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