you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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