I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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