Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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