strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
