Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
