His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
