dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
