Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
