My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I checked into jail on foursquare
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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