I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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