then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
