Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
