I swear she didn't look like that last week.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize