Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
