May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
