At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just found puke in my bra..
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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