you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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