respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
