It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
