I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
