this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
