The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
