Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
